A Night In The Brown Life

Last night we went to visit some friends who live in Bellville, about 45 minutes from here. Their oldest son and his wife are moving to Washington (the state) because she is in the military and they've stationed her out there. So they were having a little going away party for them, and asked us to come down.

On the way we decide to grab a quick sandwich because we weren't sure if they were having food or what. (Mom was a little sketchy on the details of the evening.) So we decide to run through Arbys and do the roast beef thing. I ordered just a sandwich with just cheese - none of that runny red sauce they usually put all over the things. When we get them we unwrap the sandwiches and I ask Heather - "does the one you have have just cheese on it?" She answers in the affirmative. So I give Mom the one I have just unwrapped and take the one Heather has. As I'm about to bite into it a little voice tells me I might want to check it again. Sure enough, I have the wrong sandwich. (This is the second time now in the last couple weeks that one of my family members has ate a portion of my food before I could stop them! Heather ate half my taco the other night too! I'm gettin' tired of it, I tell ya!!) So I yell at mom that she's got the wrong sandwich and she swaps the full sandwich I'm holding with the full-sandwich-less-two-bites she's holding. Life is good again.

We soon get to our destination. Mom parks the car, then looks at me and says "They did invite us to this, right?" Well, this is a fine time to ask that question. I say, "Well, whether they did or not, they've got us now cause we're goin' in!" (They had invited us. I think mom's losing it.) We've known this family nearly all our lives and were very close to them when we were kids. They are a big family, and when they all get together...it's really loud. It reminds me a lot of when us Browns all gather in Granny Brown's little house. Basically you can't even hardly hear the person next to you but though nobody can really discern what anybody else is talking about everybody is still laughing and carrying on anyway. We enjoyed chatting with all, then wish Anthony and his wife the best and head out.

Now while we were there I made a huge mistake. I ate a grape. Yes, I said "a grape". I don't know what's going on in my system anymore, but I've got so I can't eat raw fruit. I've somehow become allergic to it. So I'm sitting in the middle of all the loudness and I can feel my throat swelling up. Not bad...just enough to annoy me. (Granted, it doesn't take much to annoy me as a general rule, but...) So when we get back in the car I ask mom if she has a Benadryl because, well, mom always has Benadryl. (That's what we all secretly call her...Benadryl Brenda! hahahahahaha!) She does (see, I told you!) so I take it. It works immediately, but also turns my limbs to pasta in the process. This would be OK except our night is not over as we need to make the obligatory Friday night pass through Wal-Mart. Give me a cart to lay on and off we go.

We quickly make our purchases (apparently everybody was kind of tired and ready to get home tonight) and head for the car. I had purchased a bottle of black cherry water to drink in the car because I was thirsty. (Pretty logical, huh?!) So I go to open it and all of the sudden it erupts like a small volcano, spewing black cherry water everywhere. Mom, who is driving the van, immediately starts making a noise like "NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" OK, gotta tell ya, when you have a small black cherry volcano exploding all over your lap, sounds like that are extremely annoying. So I finally get the water to stop spewing all over me and mom to stop screaming like an insane woman and start trying to figure out why water is erupting on me. Apparently in my Bendaryl-drug induced state I had purchased sparkling water instead of unsparkling water. (I doubt that's the correct term, but you no doubt understand my point.) I don't like sparkling water. Water that fizzes is an unnatural phenomenon that I do not believe God approves of. Unless you've dropped Alka-Seltzer in it. He's probably OK with that. But, for some reason I take a drink anyway (probably because I'm still thirsty) and immediately feel nauseous. So now I'm drenched and sick and all pasta-limbed...OK folks, it's time to call 'er a night.

Which is exactly what we did.

What does the next exciting installment of "The Brown Life" hold? Stay tuned, daring readers, to find out!!!