Things I've Learned

Mr. Dave Barry (who is a hilarious columnist and author, in case you don't know who he is) wrote an article several years ago entitled "25 Things I Learned in 50 Years". It is awesome...you should Google it if you've never seen it. It's full of little "wit"-isms of life's truths, such as "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.", and "When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy." Obviously, this guy has been paying attention in life!

I think when you get right down to it, we all have our own "lessons learned" list that we have acquired through life. Here's a few of my own...

1. Never walk through a pouring rainstorm with your purse unzipped.
2. If you have really enjoyed the restaurant's meal, you're probably better off not knowing what the kitchen or the chef looks like.
3. Household electronics secretly know how to talk to one another, and can coordinate slow deaths in order to break their owners financially and mentally. (see previous blog entry)
4. The best way to have a spontaneous, unexpected day is to plan it to the most minute detail.
5. When a doctor says "this will just cause a mild discomfort", don't believe them.
6. No matter how long you ignore that weird screeching noise coming from your car...it will not get better on its own.
7. If you suddenly smell a horrific odor eminating from the group of three year olds you teach in Sunday School, find the one that refuses to sit down. Then take them to their parents. Immediately.
8. Whoever came up with the term "Reality Television" apparently has never lived in the Real World.
9. Don't take offence when a six year old asks you if you used to be skinny. They just call it like they see it.
10. Intelligence is not always a way to measure how smart someone is. Nor is lack of formal education a way to measure how dumb someone is.
11. Life is too short to worry and fret over things that don't really matter.
12. Life is too long to worry and fret over things that don't really matter.
13. Never pass up the chance to make one of your co-workers look really good.
14. When someone you love is driving you crazy, just envision the day that they are no longer there....then enjoy your time together.

Until we meet again....