I reached into my purse today for a delectable piece of my favorite Stride gum when I noticed a graphic on the package that says "Ridiculously Improved". That seems a bit...well, over the top for gum. I mean, how can you "ridiculously" improve gum? Well, maybe if it was that dubble-bubble stuff that loses its flavor 2 seconds after you've put it in your mouth. Because any improvement to that stuff would be a "ridiculous" improvement. Really...have you ever chewed it? It's incomprehensible to me how fast it loses flavor. I'd be ashamed to sell it if I were them. I don't care how cute the little comics on the wrapper are. Seriously.
But....anyway...back to the Stride. Trying to be ever the optimist, I start chewing the gum and brace myself for the super-explosion of flavor and chewability improvement that I was about to experience.
Just as I suspected...they lied to me.
Companies do this all the time. They try to convince us that they've got the greatest product on the planet earth when they know they're selling us junk. It's insulting. It truly is. Do they think people do not care about such things? Do they think we have no passion about being lied to? Well, I'll tell you, if you want to experience the passion you should be sitting beside Aunt Diana when the Oxy-Clean guy comes on TV. She'll blow your eardrums out screaming "LIAR, LIAR"!!! Quite frankly, I don't think she likes Oxy-Clean.
Just like a couple of minutes ago...the latest Saturn commercial comes on where some guy in the shiniest green shirt I've ever seen in my life has the gall and audacity to sit on his little stool and tell us all how Saturn won't take your car away if you lose your job because they care about their customers and would never do anything to make their lives worse in bad times.
LIAR!! LIAR!!
As you might can tell, I have had prior bad experiences with the above mentioned company. And I can assure you, their main concern with me was not on the care and satisfaction of their customer. It wasn't. At all. All they wanted was my money. Trust me. Don't trust them.
So I stand my ground against all of the evil corporations who lie to us. I will not praise Stride for being ridiculously improved. (Although I do still chew it because, you know, I really like the gum. And it sure does beat dubble-bubble.) And I will not spend my hard earned dollars on another car from a guy sitting on a little stool just because he wears very shiny clothes.
No I won't.
Aunt Diana would be proud.
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I have seen this Saturn commercial...the first thing that Aim and I said was if he wanted to be taking seriously he needed to remove that horrible shirt! Where was the producer of this commercial? Maybe he was a disgruntled customer who got his revenge by making the company look stupid by poor choice in wardrobe. Ha!
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