Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Question of the Week

Why is it that every talent show on television that has a reference to "America" in it always has at least one British judge?

I'm just wondering.

That's kind of bothering me tonight...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Photo Shop

Whoa....2 blogs tonight. This one isn't really though...just some photos to show what the family's been up to lately...






Here's Mammy and her Sunday School kids on Old Fashioned Sunday. Who knew there were Prairies in the middle of Ohio?




Adam chills out in his 70's Leisure Suit duds....


A nice little family shot at our church a couple of weeks ago. We had a memorial service for all of those who had passed on over the years. The church presented mom with a flower in honor of Dad. Notice the sign on the communion table...Life is not forever, but Love is. That was taken from his headstone.


Where Did This Come From???

Tonight I'm cleaning the small closet in my living room. And apparently, someone has been randomly coming into my apartment once or twice a month over the past 13 years and shoving their junk into it. That has to be what has happened, because surely I could not have been hoarding up all of this stuff in here.

I don't even remember ever seeing some of it before. Where did it come from??

Now there's a big mess in living room. Which is so nice, seeing as how it was about the only room that I had left without a mess in it. Now I pretty much am just hopping from one open floor spot to another. If I don't end up with gout again over this, it will be a miracle.

And I've got a show on about a couple buying their first house. They're having appraisal problems. I understand their pain.

And my light bulb just blew. Ha ha ha.....like I have a prayer of finding a light bulb in this place right now.

Maybe it would be better to clean the rest of this closet out in the dark anyway. Who knows what else is lurking in there....

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Catch Up

Well, let's catch up on the last couple of days...

I started my new home counseling on Friday. I went to Barnes & Noble to meet this guy that I was supposed to talk to. Of course, I have not a clue what he looks like. So I'm trying to nonchalantly eyeball everyone and try to pick out someone who looks like they might be affiliated with a business of some sort. Then I see him. A guy sitting alone at a table with file folders spread out in front of him. So I walk over and ask if he's waiting for someone. I honestly thought he was going to cry. I mean, he looked terrified. I apologized and assumed he was not my counselor. Because if he was, this was not going to be good. Only I would end up with a mentally unstable counselor...

So I just go sit and hope that counseling dude finds me, since the other way around wasn't working so good. Then I see this guy on the other side of the room who is talking on a cell phone start waving his hand in the air. But he's not really looking at me. So I don't know what this means. And after that last fella, I'm not risking it. So I stay where I'm at. So cell phone man then gets up and comes over and sits down at my table. OK, apparently he was waving at me. But he's still on the phone, so I have to wait for him to get finished with his conversation. This is starting very strangely.

But, it turned out all good. Basically counseling was just talking about all the stuff that you go through buying a house, and how to save as much money as possible. He did have a lot of good info about local businesses with good pricing, so it was worthwhile. We have one more session, then I'm all counseled out.

The bank did tell me the appraisal looked good, so we are moving in the right direction! I have started now to box some things up around here. It's kind of organized chaos, but believe it or not, that's headed in the right direction too. I also washed 7 loads of laundry yesterday, and have at least that many more to go. I'll be hoarding quarters again over then next few days, I guess.

Oh, and I accidentally washed some migraine headache pills in one of my laundry batches. It turned my garment neon green. It kind of looks like it might contain some sort of radioactive material in it. No wonder they make migraines go away...

On top of all of that, Friday night we took Heather out to celebrate her CIC designation. Then last night we (meaning the ladies singing group from our church) had an appointment to sing in Mt Vernon, which is about an hour and 10 minutes or so from us. So we left at 5 and weren't back home until about 10:30 or 11. Then today was Old Fashioned days at the church, and then our Sunday School picnic was after that. It was 4:00 when I got home from that. My first order of business was to fall asleep, not waking until 6:22. Whoa...gotta be back at church at 7:00! Then to mom's for some food (pizza tonight), then here to blog a bit.

And now, it is bedtime.

Shew....I'm tired.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Call Me Hard Headed...

OK....My head still hurts today. Here's why...

Last night I was at the church because one of the groups I play piano for has an appointment Saturday night, and...well - we needed to practice. So we did our thing and then leave to head back home a little after 9.

Well, it's raining pretty good outside, and I'm carrying a portable CD player plus a folder with my songs in it which is made of paper and is bright yellow and so I pretty much know everything inside of it is going to look like it's been smeared with mustard before I can get it to the car. So, since Heather has an umbrella she tells me to get under it and off we go.

I'm yelling at her to take me to the passenger side of my car so I can toss the radio and folder in it. Then I didn't care if I got wet myself or not. So we get there and I'm all hunched down trying to walk under this umbrella and Hezzo's standing right on top of me trying to keep the umbrella over me as I try to open the car door.

Of course in this position I'm too close to the car, so I step back to allow the door room to open. Only problem with that plan is that Heather is still standing extremely close to me, so all I really do is step on her and nearly knock her down. Of course she yells (in my ear) "OOOWWW", so I jump forward to get off of her foot. However, the momentum of my arm is already in motion and pulling the door toward me. And I'm still hunched down because of the umbrella. As a consequence, I basically slammed the corner of the door directly into the middle of my forehead.

In case you're wondering, this does not feel good at all.

Immediately, the ground started spinning. I was sure I was bleeding all over because seriously, it felt like I had cracked my skull completely open. Somehow I manage to pull the door open without hitting myself again and dump the folder and radio on the front seat. I then grab my head and start yelling at Heather "Am I Bleeding?? Am I Bleeding??"

Well, it was extremely difficult to discern her answer through all the laughter. See, Heather basically is NO HELP when it comes to an emergency, because all she really does is laugh at you. I think she might have finally squeaked out something resembling "No" but I'm not 100% sure since suddenly it seemed best for me to try and devote all of my energy to not passing out. So here we stand in the pouring rain, Heather laughing hysterically and me hunched over trying to convince the ground under me to please stop moving. I'm sure it was a lovely sight.

I finally am able to stand up and stagger to the other side of the car to head home. I'm pretty sure I may have given myself a mild concussion, because once I got to the house suddenly I was sick as a dog. And that is not a pretty sight either. And I have absolutely NO recollection of even laying down last night, let alone falling asleep. Thank God I woke up today!

So, the head is still tender to the touch (though amazingly it didn't swell much), but the dizziness has stopped.

And the next time, I will perfectly happy to play from a mustard-colored songlist!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Happy Dance

Well, yesterday was the big appraisal day. Today I e-mailed the sellers and asked how it went. She told me it went very well, and the appraiser said that there wouldn't be any problem with the house meeting the asking price.

HALLELUJAH!!

They also said "They don't build houses like that anymore".

Wow...that feels good to hear too!

So tomorrow I go to Home buyer counseling. I'm required to take this as part of the Welcome Home grant that I qualified for. I've always know I've needed counseling, but this isn't exactly what I had in mind....

So now I gotta kick the cleaning bug into gear and get this apartment under control. It doesn't help that it's about 92 degrees in here. See, I decided that I didn't want to mess with putting the air conditioner in since I was hopefully moving out. But of course the weather went insanely hot the last couple days. Shew...don't know if I'll make it another couple weeks if it doesn't cool down!

Well, I'm feeling a bit sick right now because I almost knocked myself out (literally) in the parking lot of our church a little bit ago. In a pouring rainstorm. And stepped on Heather's foot and almost knocked her over in the process. I'd explain more, but I think I may need to go throw up or something. Tune in tomorrow.....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

House Buying and Superstitions

Well, tomorrow is the big day. The appraiser comes to look at the house. I'll admit...I'm a bit anxious. I've grown pretty fond of the little place. (Hmm, I might have mentioned that before, huh...) However, I still leave it in God's hands, and if it's meant to be, it will all work out. (please let it be meant to be!)

So the homeowners were back from vacation yesterday, and I still had their key where they had let me use it while they were gone. I figured I'd better return it. So I tracked them down over at the little place, where Mr. Homeowner was painting the shutters a nice fresh coat of green paint. He also had a nice fresh coat of green paint all over his hands. Hmm...I told him he was turning into the Incredible Hulk on us. His wife said he looked like Oscar the Grouch. He told me he liked my analogy better. Just don't get him mad....

While I was there the neighbor came out and was talking to Mr. Homeowner. Mrs. Homeowner wanted to introduce me to him. Mr. Homeowner wouldn't do it, as he did not want to "jinx" the sale. Mr. Homeowner is kind of a superstitious type. His son played football and ran track with Adam. Whatever routine we were in when we were winning (for example, meeting at their house for hot dogs after the game), he would make sure we kept doing. So, we give him his superstitions. I'll just have to meet Mr. Neighbor after I move in, I guess.

So, I'll keep you posted as soon as we get a figure. And for all you prayin' folk out there...keep tomorrow at 12:30 in mind if you think of it. A little of that I think will go a long way with Mr. Homeowner's superstitions!

And a couple side-notes...I drank my black cherry juice for gout last night. Tonight...no gout. OK, that had to be at least partly coincidence. It couldn't have cleared it up that fast. However...I believe I will be sticking to the black cherry diet for a while. Just in case....

And, if you've been over to The Great Lollygag lately (see link to the right), you'll see Hezzo talking about our Father's Day. I had forgotten....she did want to take the flowers off of someones grave. Yes, it was a pretty hanging basket. Yes, she didn't realize they were actually at a headstone (because the headstone was actually a bench, which is kind of cool). However, I don't think it's proper to envision removing flowers from ANYWHERE in a cemetery. Just something to keep in mind Hezzo....

Until we meet again.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Hodgepodge Thoughts...

We've been looking at a weekend get-away. Adam can't go with us on vacation this year. I hate that. I so wish he could be with us. So we're trying to figure out a place to go for a weekend with him. So far we've wandered (in our minds) across Indiana, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Michigan...and a short jaunt to Minnesota. (I don't think Adam realizes how far from us Minnesota actually is...) Hmmm.....still searching......

I finally got brave and drank some of my black cherry juice. OK, I'll admit....it's not too bad. I can tolerate this, and I don't even need Splenda. Let us now pray it takes care of this stupid gout stuff...

The appraiser called Friday!!! Yay!!! Except I wasn't home at the time. Drat it. So I play a bit of phone tag and we just leave each other messages several times. Last I heard they were to be contacting the current homeowners since they are now back from vacation. I haven't been able to catch up with them yet, but I hope it's all on track. I hope, I hope, I hope...

I can't believe I'm really sitting here watching Jon & Kate plus 8 tonight. Why would you trade your family for fame...or money...or anything?? I don't understand it.

There is still so much to do around this apartment.

**groan**

Sunday, June 21, 2009

My Pappy...

I knew my dad for 30 years and 3 months. Then he had to leave. He was the greatest man I ever knew on this earth. And though he's been gone nearly 8 years, I'm still influenced by him every day.

He taught me how to be honest in all things.

How to enjoy life.

How to be the bigger person.

How to value your family.

How to stand for what's right, regardless of the consequences.

How to always trust God.

To remember to laugh, even when times are tough.

How to just be a good person.

A friend at church tells of when his family started coming to our church, and they attended a bonfire that we were having. He didn't know anyone very well, and was sitting by the fire shivering a bit because of the cold of the evening. Then someone stopped and offered his coat to help warm the young man up. It was my dad. That was over 20 years ago or more. And it still affects that man today.

The simplest gesture can make the biggest impact for the longest time.

What a legacy to leave.

I don't think I told dad often enough while he was here how much I appreciated him. I regret that, because he deserved to know it.

I hope he knew it.

So Happy Father's Day Dad. And thank you for all you gave me and taught me in this life. I'm so glad you were my Dad. You were truly a giant among men.

I miss you very much...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Observances

Some things I've just noticed in the last few days...

~~~~~~~~~

I always seem to have a dime laying in my floor someplace. It's kind of odd. It reminds me of when Heather claimed that buttons kept appearing on her back porch. Of course, she blamed that on the neighborhood cats. Apparently she believed they were bringing buttons to her porch and leaving them there. Wouldn't you like to be a spark jumping through the synopsis' of her mind??


~~~~~~~~~~

I have some strange neighbors. Last night I went to take my trash out. It was about 12:30. I don't like carrying my trash out when everybody is up and watching me. So I do it late at night. (OK, so I'm a bit strange too...) As I walked past the window in the hall, I see a giant bubble float past. Yeah, that's right...a bubble. I half expected Glenda the Good Witch to pop out of it. Then I see my neighbor hanging out of her upstairs window waving a wand around and creating all these bubbles. When she sees me, she frantically shuts the window, like I was catching her doing something illegal. Weird. Really weird.

~~~~~~~~~~


I find it strange how the temperature of food affects the taste. I mean, the taste should be the taste...regardless of the temperature. In my opinion, anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~


I keep some Diet Mt. Dew on hand to help with the migraines, so I drank one last night. I haven't had pop in a month or two. It nearly made me sick. Isn't it odd how your tastes can change so quickly? I used to drink several a day. After that one last night, I don't really care to have another anytime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~


Even though I think Johnny Depp is really strange, I do find him hilarious in Pirates of the Carribbean

~~~~~~~~~~


Whoever comes up with the plot lines for "Criminal Minds" needs to be institutionalized. And if they base them on real events, I'll never sleep again
~~~~~~~~~


Drinking 8 glasses of water a day really does make me feel better.

~~~~~~~~~


The other day we said something to Adam about having a girlfriend. He responded that he didn't need a girl right now because they "cost too much money".


He seems much wiser now than he did a year ago.

~~~~~~~~~

There are certain things I do in life, like trying to buy a house, that make me really, really miss my dad.

Friday, June 19, 2009

A Soggy Tale

Living in the tropical paradise that is North Central Ohio is always interesting. You never really know what the weather may hold. I think it's worse now than it used to be. Maybe it's just because I was a kid and really didn't pay a lot of attention to the weather, but it seemed to me like it used to be a bit more "stable" than nowadays. Our weather is, at best, just insane at times.

This morning I was driving to work and could see the dark clouds gathering in. Yeah, they were planning a party, and it looked like it was going to be held directly over my workplace. Sure enough, about 5 miles away, the drops started. You can sometimes tell how bad the rain is going to be around here by the size of the raindrops. The first one that hit my windshield looked to be about the size of my head. Great...

Well, I did manage to get in before it started gully-washing. (That's a nice hillbilly term there...) And so then it clears up and gets sunny, but HOT and HUMID. That's the worst...the humidity. I took off 1/2 a day, and pick up Ma and we head to Mansfield to get our normal Friday shopping done a bit early. Adam is over there eating lunch with his buddies, and then meets us at Sam's Club. Then we're off to Dollar General Market, because I'm wearing the hottest shirt in the world and am going to die if I don't get it off. A collective decision is made that it would be better if I had something else to put on in it's place, and a cheap T-shirt from the dollar store sounds like a good plan. Somehow I end up spending $18 in there. Mom spends twice that. Good grief.

Then to the health food store. Well, I guess it's more like vitamins and herbs and all that stuff. Anyway, we're there because every time I say the word "gout" to anyone, they immediately respond "You need Black Cherry Juice!" So I'm gonna try it. I bet I hate it. I don't like tart stuff. Wonder how much Splenda it will take to make it tolerable....

So I get the juice and Mom gets some tea and we're off again to the world of Ollie's. This is like a Big Lots style store. One of those places that I have trouble focusing in sometimes. Have you ever done that...gone into a store where there's too much to look at and you just can't comprehend what all you're seeing? Or am I just weird? (I'm not sure I want you to answer that...)

After Ollie's, here we go to Wal-Mart. I mean, what would Friday be without a Wal-Mart visit?? Actually, I've not been to the store in about a week and a half because of gout foot. It is much better, though still a little tender. My bigger problem now however is I limped so much on the foot that it's got the calf of my leg all messed up...so now I limp because of that. So by the time we got through Sam's, Dollar Store, Healthy Store, Ollie's.....I was getting a bit weary. We fly through the Mart as fast as we can. For there is still one more stop to make.

Mom and Adam need to go to Menard's and buy more bricks for the yard. I seriously do not know where they are putting all of these bricks, because this is about the 4th time they've gone over there in the last little bit to get them. I think they're building a secret fort somewhere. I'm just afraid to ask...

Anyway, we bought things like meat and ice cream at Wal-Mart, and those are probably not going to hold up well in the heat of brick-buying. So I'm given the keys to the van to take it home while they brick it. As I'm driving back to Shelby, the dark clouds start gathering for party number 2 of the day. I pull into the drive and another head-sized raindrop hits the windshield. OK, if I run I maybe can get Mom's groceries into the house and my groceries into my car before I get drenched. One small problem with that plan. I can't run. Good lord, I can barely walk. So I open the back of the van and start trying to sort out which bags belong to who, and it begins. A pretty good rain. But, being an Ohio native, I can tell... It's going to get much worse. I get the first round in the house...I'm a little wet. Get the second round in...I've got water dripping off my hair. Go back out to get my bags in my car....

It's a freakin' monsoon.

I'm not kidding...the rain was coming down so hard I couldn't hardly see my car and I was 2 feet away from it. I am absolutely soaked to the skin. Great. So I go get the house locked up and finally get all my bags in my car and get in it. The rain is now blowing completely sideways...there is standing water all over the roads...you can't see your hand in front of your face. And I've got water running in my eyes from where my head is drenched, plus my clothes are sucked to me like a vacuum from where they are drenched.

This is not fun.

I get to the apartment and it's raining even harder. Well, I can't get any wetter than I already am, so start to get out when I hear the pelting sounds. Ah...hail. That's nice. Change of plan...hang out in the car a bit. I grab all the bags from the back seat and try to get them arranged so I can carry as much as possible upstairs on the first try. It's then I realize I accidentally got mom's bag with their donuts in it. Well, they'll probably have a conniption fit about that. They'll have to get over it.

Then, lo and behold, as I'm sitting there, a red truck pulls up beside me. The brick buyers have come by to see if I need help carrying stuff in. Well, it's still pouring, but the hail has stopped, so I jump out and give them the all important donut bag. They, of course, are laughing at me because I look like a drowned rat. I tell them to go on, I'll carry up what I can and get the rest later. Now, my road is on a slight angle, so all of that rain has formed a mini river with flowing rapids running right into where I'm standing. It was honestly over my ankles. So my tennis shoes are also drenched, and I feel my socks sucking around my feet. Great, at least the whole ensemble matches now.

You know, sometimes I could really hate Ohio.

But perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Or at the very least, I won't be out in it!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hidden Treasures

Well, as you know I've been cleaning out the apartment. I can't believe all the stuff in this place. I'm finding things I'd completely forgotten about. What a great little jaunt down memory lane. However, it is not necessarily a good thing. I tend to get distracted a bit looking through everything. I found my vacation journal from our trip to St. Simon's, Georgia last night. HA - I laughed out loud at some of the shenanigans we got into. However, I didn't get much else in the cleaning area done. Gonna have to get some discipline here..

I saw a commercial the other day for a new show on A&E called "Obsession". Or is it "Compulsion"? No, I think it's "Obsession'. (Now I'll obsess over that for hours....which one is it??) Anyway, this guy's Obessessive Compulsive Disorder was hoarding. Granted, my place doesn't look as bad as his did, but....well, let's just say don't be surprised if some night you turn on the TV and find me on A&E. You can say you knew me when...

So, that being said, it's off to go through more junk and find more hidden treasures. And NOT get distracted.

Maybe...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Pet Peeves

I guess we all have them, don't we? Those little annoyances that other people do...that really shouldn't be a big deal but in reality they just irk the life out of us. Today I was keenly aware of many of my pet peeves. The blood pressure meds must have decided to go on strike...

First, it was Mr. "I need to nearly break my neck and almost cause you to wreck by pulling out in front of you on the road even though there's no one behind you for miles and then once I'm out there I drive 12 miles an hour and you can't find a spot to pass me in". Come on buddy, if you're going to pull out in front of me, then DRIVE!!

Then, probably one of my all-time worst peeves ever. You come to an intersection with another car. And you wave them on. And they, in turn.....wave you on. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?? This one just about sends me over the edge. If I waved you on first, THEN GO!!! What is this little game??? People who do this should be slapped repeatedly. Then arrested.


I'm serious.

Then I get into the office and get an e-mail from a co-worker. With the subject line blank. Why? Really, just...why? I mean, it even says "SUBJECT". So put a subject in there! It's not rocket science people!

Then we have a vendor come in. Now...I don't really care for this guy. We've not had a great relationship with his company lately, and he's a bit cocky like he's just the greatest thing out there. But I deal with him because we use their product. So I'm sitting beside him across the desk from my boss as he's giving us his latest sales pitch. Suddenly he has some "heartfelt" point he feels he needs to make, so he touches me on the hand. You know...sort of affectionately, like you would a friend. Listen dude, that's over the line. We don't know each other that well on ANY level. But I take a deep breath and try to ignore it. And then......he does it again. Oh boy....I know my face turned about 15 shades of red. I don't dare look at at my boss, because I know she knows what I'm thinking. After he left she applauded me for not decking him. Yes, he is an extremely fortunate man....

So then at lunch I order my food and hand the cashier a $20. And they give me my change back in a wad. Are you kidding me? Who in the world carries their money around in their wallet in a wad?? I'm one of these people who has to turn all the little faces on the bills the same way before I give it to anyone anyways, so you can imagine what my money scrunched up in a wad did to me...

Shew...I don't know what's wrong with me today. I probably just need to relax a bit now. So I head to the kitchen, and realize I left a gallon of milk out all day. Well, that's no good now. So, I go to remove the cap to pour it what was left of it out. You know what happened?

It exploded.

I kid you not. Exploded. Did you know milk in a jug could explode?? I did not. No idea whatsoever. But it is possible.

It's not pretty, but it is possible.

Yep, that's definitely one for the pet peeve list....exploding milk.

What a day...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Another Day...

I just got home....took the evening and went through the house I'm looking to buy again. The homeowners are on vacation so we just broke in to walk through it one more time.

KIDDING!

Naw, they left me a key so I could let the appraiser in should he be willing to set up a time yet this week to go through it. I dropped off the purchase agreement today, and now we wait for the appraisal. Hmmm....I'm already growing kind of attached to the little place...

The banker told me that if everything went OK it would probably still be about the middle of July until we could close, as we have to wait on some grant money that I qualified for. Actually, this was a huge relief to hear. It will take me until the middle of July to get this apartment straightened around! I've been working on it slowly....but there's still a looonnnnggg ways to go.

After we left the house I drove Ma all over town looking at other houses to see what kind of competition there is out there. For the budget I'm on, I'm happy with my choice. Did I mention I'm growing kind of attached to the little place??

So I pull into mom's driveway and there's her neighbor's dog Maverick sitting on their stoop. Maverick cracks me up. He looks like a black Marmaduke, and he always sits on the stoop with with paws hanging over the edge. He never barks when we come in. Unless I'm in the company car. Then I have to yell at him to tell him who I am. He'll typically then stop in mid-bark and head back to resume his post on the stoop. Funny dog.

As we pass Maverick I spy a squirrel running through the yard with a pretty good sized stick in his mouth. How strange. I mean, have you ever seen a squirrel running around with a stick in it's mouth?? Perhaps Maverick is teaching the squirrels to play with him now. Mom's convinced that the little thing is going to pole vault over her fence and get into her garden. Yeah, I'm sure that's his plan. Anyway, he runs over to the tree then starts twirling the stick back and forth like a little baton. I think we've found our next contestant for America's Got Talent. What is it with all this weird animal stuff this week??

Mom then spies a couple rabbits hanging around outside her garden fence and quickly gets out of the car to go chase them away. Well, that should keep her occupied for a while...

So, now I'm home. I think I'm headed back to clean up some more junk. Perhaps then if it does work out that I'm able to move, it won't be quite the enormous undertaking that I've been dreading. And the house won't be a cluttered mess from the very start!

By the way...did I mention that I'm getting kind of attached to the little place??

:)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Animal Insanity

I had a bad feeling about today. The signs were out there that it might be a crazy kind of day. The animals were definitely feeling it...

It started as soon as I walked out the door. (I mean, "hobbled" out. Still got the gout foot.) I hear this insanely kind-of-human-but-not-exactly laughing sound. It was extremely weird, and extremely loud. So I'm looking around at all the apartment windows trying to figure out which one now was being inhabited by a witch on crack (OK, I'm really just guessing that's what a witch on crack would sound like...), when all of the sudden something comes barrelling out of the bushes. Or, I should say, some THINGS. You guessed it.....psychotic ducks.

The first duck out of the bush was making all the noise. I'm guessing this was mainly because the second duck out of the bush had a billful of his skin in his mouth. So much so that even when the first duck finally broke free, the second duck was standing there with a feathers hanging out of his mouth. I wish I'd had my camera. Don't see a shot like that every day. Then she continued to glare at the first duck, who ran frantically across the road. It was quite a little spectacle. So then second duck waddles back to the bush, and first duck.....turns around and heads back to the bush as well. Some fowl never learn. I wish I'd had time to stay and watch the rest of it. I do fear though the way the second duck was guarding that bush that we'll soon have more little psycho ducklings quacking up the area. Just what we need....

So I get in the car and head down the road. Suddenly, I'm swarmed by three birds doing kamikaze dives right in front of the car. What in the world??? Then I see him...a poor little squirrel running for his life, while these birds kept dive-bombing him. Man, I don't know what he did, but he sure ticked them off. Don't mess with the birds, man.

So OK, things can't get much stranger, right? Well, on I go and about halfway to work I see this thing by the side of the road. Honestly, it looked like a GIANT skunk. A skunk the size of a dog. Which was fitting, because as it turned out, it WAS a dog. I have no idea what he was doing, but just as I got up to him he all of the sudden jumped straight up in the air, did a half-flip (No, I am not making this up!) and landed ON HIS BACK on the road!! OK...I need to go back home and go back to bed. My last glimpse of him in my rear view mirror had him still rolling around on the asphalt. How odd.

So, I don't know what was up, but I sure hope the critters have it all out of their system by now. The only good thing is they made my day with my co-workers seem relatively tame. I guess there's always a positive side to everything, huh?!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to Debt I Go...

The "buying a house saga" continues....

I took Friday off to work around the apartment. Whether I move or stay, something has got to be done here. This is like only the second day I have taken off this year. So what are the odds that I would develop another bout of gout on this particular day?? ("bout of gout"....perhaps I could earn some extra money being the next Dr. Seuss. Granted, a weird Dr. Seuss....)

Anyway, the gout does cause a bit of a problem with the cleaning/organizing thing. Can't stand on it much, so I have to sit in my desk chair and scoot around the room, stopping every hour or so to go back to the couch and prop it back up to try and stop the throbbing for a while. This is ridiculous. I have tried to get off of the Alleve/Ibuprofen cocktails I've been sucking down the last 24 hours. The "experts" say to take Tylenol, of which I have none, but I do have acetaminophen, and I think it might be the same thing, so I'm taking it now. (My medical skills are great, as you can see.)

The bank guy had told me that he had a meeting at 8:00 on Friday and would know if I was approved for the loan shortly thereafter. I anxiously await his call. Except, he doesn't call. OK...was I supposed to call him? (You know how you do that...start questioning everything that you're pretty sure you know, but it's not happening the way you think it should? ) So at 3:00 I just call him...but get his voice mail. So I leave a message and wait some more. Me and gout foot...just hanging out waiting for the banker...

Well, at 5:05 I figure I'm not going to hear from him, so I send the house sellers a text indicating such. Then about 6 minutes later I get THE call. And he tells me the words I've been hoping to hear...."You're Approved"! Awesome. And Thank You God. Very, very much.

So, I call the homeowners, who are also happy at this news. Now we need a Sales agreement. They had previously tried to sell this house, but apparently the other buyers lied about having a job. ???? Seriously??? I mean, didn't they think the bank would verify this info? Honestly, if I were going to lie about something on a loan app, it wouldn't be employment. Not that I would lie about anything. I'm just saying....

So, they've already got an agreement drawn up from the previous sell, and they ask if I'm OK with just looking it over and if OK, just have it notarized rather than going back through a lawyer again. Sounds good to me. So I tell them I'll come over in a bit. Well, this is quite an ordeal. Gout foot is extremely against shoes of any type tonight. So basically the only way I can get them on is to scream while I'm doing it. I'm sure the neighbors enjoyed that, although none of them came to check on me.

Well, it turns out gout foot likes walking in shoes even less than wearing them now. lord. So I hobble over there and get the agreement and hobble back home as soon as I can. I'm exhausted. Then at 9:30 this morning I hobble to the bank (it's a little better today) to get the agreement signed. Wow...I guess we're on our way.

Next stop....appraisal land....

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Deal or No Deal

Well, I spent today talking to the Banker. No, Howie Mandell wasn't around. And this guy was much nicer than the dude in silhouette on that show seems to be. Which is good, because sitting across the desk from someone that you're requesting large sums of money from can be pretty intimidating. Yes, I'm finally taking the plunge and seeing about buying a house.


Well, first let me back up a bit. The day started at 3:00 a.m. when I was suddenly awakened by an unbelievable pain in my foot, much like what I would imagine being hit suddenly by a sledgehammer in your sleep would feel like. Yeah....Gout. Daggone it.


This pain is almost unbearable at times. Really, I think I'd rather have a kidney stone. So the rest of the night was a lot of moaning, groaning and pill taking. Can you overdose on Alleve and Ibuprofen? (Don't answer that.)


Soon it's work time...I somehow stumble around and get ready. The drive in is horrible because gout foot does not like to be left in a dangling down position. And it's not easy to drive with one leg propped up on the dashboard, particularly when it's your left leg and you're doing the driving. But I finally get there and stagger around the office until 2:00 when I give it up and head out.


Heading back home, I stop at mom's to pick up the family-friendly-community crutches that Adam and I just keep passing back and forth between each other. If we ever both break/sprain/tear ligaments in/get gout in our lower extremities at the same time, I don't know what we'll do. Then it's off to the bank.


The institution I'm heading to is in downtown Mansfield on the square. This is an area of largely one way streets. Which is extremely scary for me, because I know if I get in the wrong lane and drive past the square I'm probably sunk because I'll never find my way out again. So, since I couldn't determine which of the 30 buildings around there was the bank, I just keep circling the square. (That's a weird statement... "circle" a "square"?) Finally I find the place I need, but all of the parking spaces are marked "No Parking...Police Order". Wow, that's not good. So I have to call up to the bank and ask them where I'm supposed to leave my car, and they send me to another lot. Whew...so far, so good.


Now to the ordeal of walking around the block on crutches while trying to balance a purse on my paper thin shoulders which REFUSE to support the weight of a purse, even on a good day. (Thank you Granny Brown for that gene!) I just kept thinking if somebody wanted to jump me and take my belongings it wouldn't be that difficult at this point. So I'm devising a plan to whack them with a crutch if needed when a "gentleman" sitting on the corner asks me if I can give him some money when I come out of the bank. Hope he didn't get his hopes too up on that one.


Into the bank I hobble. Perhaps they'll take pity on my plight and give me a good deal, you think? (Yeah, not holding my breath) So, I sit there and concentrate on trying not to scream in pain while I'm talking to Mr. Banker as he takes me through the whole 187 questions and 309 papers that have to be filled out. I think I might have given my firstborn away somewhere in that whole ordeal. And.......now I leave it in God's hands and wait to see what happens.

To be continued.....

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

An Ode to Momma's Rabbit Ode...

My Momma wrote a poem
'Bout the rabbits on her land
They drive her kind of crazy
They're completely out of hand

She gets a bit irate
When they dig into her plants
And she put a big ole fence up
To keep them out at last.

But still they dig her flowers
They're persistent little dudes
But though she rants about them
I find them kind of cute.

So I say hang tough Mammy,
The rabbits soon will go
And then you'll still be yelling
'Cause we'll be buried in snow!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Creature of Habit

Don't you find the human mind fascinating? I do. I think it's amazing how it can be logically illogical. Think about that. I can say to myself right before I get off the couch to walk out the door for work, "Don't forget to put your glasses in your purse." I mean, seriously...it's the LAST THING I think before I turn the handle and leave.

And my glasses are still laying on my end table when I arrive at the office 30 minutes later.

See, logic would tell me there's no way I could not perform the "get glasses" function right? But where does that line of logic reside? Mmm hmm...in the mind. The very mind that said "get the glasses", then forgot the glasses all in the same second. See what I mean?

Logically illogical.

So, I've learned it doesn't take much to throw my mind completely off track. Just the slightest little change in a familiar observance, and I am....messed.....up.

It happened today. I went to Wendy's for lunch because I couldn't think of one solitary place that I wanted to eat, and I finally just got tired of driving around and so pulled into the first restaurant that didn't have 100 cars in the drive-thru. I order a Single combo from the little voice-in-the-box machine, and am soon on my way. When I put my hand in the bag to get the sandwich, something is wrong.

There's a box in my bag.

Now, Wendy's is not supposed to have boxes. Unless you're getting nuggets. Then a box is perfectly legal. But my sandwich is supposed to be in that cool silver paper that the cheese usually sticks to and half peels off when you try to pry it loose. It does NOT belong in a box.

So I'm trying to get a hold of it, and I just can't. I cannot explain this...I know it's insane. I never have any trouble eating a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder out of a box. But I cannot manhandle this Single. I just can't grip it right. There's goop sliding all over the place and it's a huge mess. So I finally have to pull into a parking lot to get two hands on the thing and show it who's boss.

So I take a bite. Eeewww. It takes strange. Really...the bread is too...fluffy. And the texture is all wrong. I'm assuming this is because the box does not properly steam the bun like the cool silver paper did. This is awful! My whole psyche is messed up from this one sandwich episode. I can't even eat the whole thing. It's quite pitiful.

So the rest of the day I was just off.

All because of a sandwich in a box.

Tomorrow I'll just have a taco.

And it better not be in a box.

Friday, June 5, 2009

On Floating Fruit and Gelatin...

When we were down in Kentucky, my dad's family all got together at my Aunt Diana's and Uncle Murph's house on Memorial Day. Mom had gone to stay with her Sister the night before, and Heather, Adam and I stayed with Diana and Murph. Knowing my Aunt, I knew there was going to be a flurry of activity going on in her kitchen the next morning as she got ready for the 40'ish people that were scheduled to show up. So I told her I'd get up to help her if she wanted help, to which she replied "I need someone to wash dishes and stay out of the way!"

OK...I can do that.

So I got up and dutifully started washing dishes for her while she cooked everything under the sun. Of course it didn't take long for my "duties" to start expanding, which mainly included plunging the sink out every 3 minutes since the pipes were clogged and trying to remember the items she kept yelling out in statements that started with "Don't let me forget to......" Hmm, I need to ask for a raise.

Well, soon her son David shows up, then Heather gets up, then we drag Adam out of bed. Adam and Dave helped Uncle Murph set things up outside while Heather and I continued with the washing/drying/plunging/remembering duties. After the fellows got through outside, they then join the chaos in the kitchen.

So now Aunt Diana announces that "the meatloaf is done, the beans are cooking, the chicken is baking and I'm going to take 1/2 hour and go get cleaned up and get ready and you guys make sure to check the Jell-o in about 10 minutes and add the banana's if it's ready for them...."

That was the last thing we heard as she walked out of the room. Heather, Adam, David and I blankly look at each other, and quickly begin to assess the situation at hand. Uhm...none of us knew how to tell if the "Jell-o was ready for the banana's to be put in it". Well, this should be interesting.

So, we wait our allotted 10 minutes, and then decide to start the great banana experiment. Adam ventures into the pantry and comes out with what appeared to be (as Heather described it) a "very large butcher knife". She then informs him that it's probably not necessary to use a machete to slice a banana, and he should find a smaller knife. David decides it's too much trouble to slice the bananas into multiple pieces, so he "suggests" that we just cut them in half and throw them in that way. Somehow I don't think that will pass the Aunt Diana Food Quality Inspection test. This is going well so far, as you can see.

But the biggest issue is yet to be. Heather gets the Jell-o out of the refrigerator, and we all stand there and look at it. Then we jiggle the dish a little. Amazingly, that really didn't tell us a whole lot. I think Heather may have touched her finger to it. And that...gave us about as much information as jiggling the dish did. Finally I say..."I think we're gonna have to go ask Aunt Diana how we're supposed to know if this is ready." We all agree, so Heather heads off to yell at her through her bedroom door, and finally returns with the official instructions that we were looking for. "If the bananas float when you put them in the Jell-o, it's not ready yet." Cool...science experiment in the kitchen!

So Heather takes a piece of the banana that Adam has so meticulously sliced and holds it daringly above the bowl of wiggling gelatin. Then, as we hold our breath.....in it goes. And we all point and announce in unison...."FLOATING!"

Well, isn't that something. Who knew bananas would float in Jell-o??

We then have about a 10 minute conversation about how we think it's weird that banana's float in Jell-o and we really had expected them to sink instead and why didn't they sink anyway? (We came up with no answers mind you, but the conversation kept us entertained for a while anyway...) Then we try to decide what we should do with the cut-up bananas to keep them from browning over before they find their final home in the Jell-o sometime in the near future. Obviously, to keep them fresh, it would be best to put them in the refrigerator. Which is what we do.

Of course, later on my mom tells me that was the worst thing to do, as the refrigerator would actually cause them to brown faster than if we had left them out on the counter.

Hmm...who knew there was so much to learn about Jell-o and bananas in one lifetime. There is one thing that I have definitely decided though...

If I want banana's with my Jell-o in the future....I'll just have them on the side!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Head Games

Ever have a migraine? I get them from time to time. Today was a time.

I hate 'em.

Everything hurts. Hurts ridiculously. I can actually feel little bones in my face and neck that I never even knew was there. And by "feel" I mean...they are lavishing in excruciating pain. It's odd how it affects every aspect of my existence. Pretty soon I start shaking, then the "sick to my stomach" roller coaster starts. It's great to be in the store and suddenly think you're gonna revisit your lunch in the middle of the medicine aisle.

Talk about a "clean-up, aisle 3".

But the worst part usually is the light. Dear Lord...I'd rather have a drill bit screwed through my head than to have a light directed at me. If I knew the secret location of the bat cave, I'd be hanging out there during these attacks. Just don't let Robin turn on the batmobile headlights...

So I take way too many pills to try and knock it, throw a special "sinus mask" on my face, turn a fan full blast on me and try to sleep it off.

And pray it doesn't happen again for a long, long time...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Rush Hour - Small Town Style

Well, yesterday I had to go to Cleveland again for another seminar. I honestly don't know how in the world people can stand to drive through that traffic every day. Or, sit through it, I guess I should say. It's maddening!

However, I do have to admit, the small towns aren't always better. First of all, one thing that small towns are great at is closing down multiple roads at once so that you have to drive 377 miles to get across a town that is only 5 miles wide. I know the big cities have a lot of construction, but they've usually got 2 or 3 lanes to work with so you can still pretty much keep going your normal route. Around here, it's a one lane road that suddenly has a giant hole in it. I've found that can be a real problem. And the two areas that are the best at closing every convenient route conceivable all at once are the town I live in and the town I work in. Oh, it just works out wonderfully, I tell you.

So anyway, right now there's a bridge closed on my normal way to work, which I forget every morning until I've gone about too far in that direction and have to make a wild u-turn to cut back across town. I drive about 15 feet when I see the car caterpillar ahead of me. For those of you that don't know, that's a line of cars that are just creeping along. Most generally car caterpillars are led by one of two creatures...the school bus or the farm machinery. Today it was the school bus.

So I join the caterpillar body and we drive about 3 feet at 2 miles an hour then stop....little kid comes moping out of the house, in no apparent hurry to make it to school anytime this week. Finally the little angel gets in and finds a seat, and off we go. 3 more feet. 2 miles an hour. Sit and wait. Mmm, Mom's gotta hug and kiss and double-check this one's backpack before they get their precious little hide on the bus. Finally...we're off. Another 3 feet. GOOD GRIEF - Can't all these kids get together in one place and wait for the bus? That's what we had to do!! Our driver made one stop on the road, and by gum, you better be there or he'd leave you! Even if you chased him down the road yelling for him to stop while all the other bratty kids laughed at you! (Yes, that happened to me once and I still hold deep scars from it, as you can see.) Somebody needs to toughen these little dudes up! Finally we make a little more progress...then we start all over again. Really, do kids need an education that bad? Just let the little tikes sleep...at least until I get out of town!

OK - I've cleared the town and now am heading out 96. Speed Limit - 55. Sure would be nice if somebody told that to the guy in front of me. 40 miles an hour. PAH-LEEESE MISTER! You're Killing Me Here! Now this road is fairly winding, so there's not many opportunities to pass. Of course, in the couple that there are, he decides to speed up to 65. OK...Now I see your little game.

So just as I'm ready to blow past him, he flips on his turn signal (at the last minute, of course) and whips off to a side street. It's a wonder I didn't hit him. But at least I'm free! 55 (or perhaps a tad bit faster) here I come!

Until I see the humongous farm tractor pull out in front of me. AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! Now this isn't just any farm equipment. It's one of those monster ones that have giant spikes sticking out of the sides that are ready to strip the paint off of your car if you even think about trying to pass it. But since I can't tolerate 40 miles an hour, you can imagine how I'm doing at 12 miles an hour, so I take a chance and pass the green monster. Thankfully I reach the other side with all car parts intact. We're makin' progress now!

So I head into the last stretch, and lo and behold, here's a construction truck hauling a trailer with a bunch of loose drywall in it. Well this is good, I'm probably going to be pelted by this junk any time now because it's flinging all over the place. So, here I go again...let's pass him. Except THIS dude decides to move to the middle of the road. Which was quite a problem because I was BESIDE him at the time, with nothing but 1/2 foot of road and a ditch beside me. And he won't move over. I don't know if he was extremely unobservant or just a jerk, but I finally figured it wasn't worth it so I backed off of him. And drove 15 miles an hour the rest of the way to work. I should have taken an extra blood pressure pill this morning.

So, like I said, I don't know how people can stand driving these little backroads all the time. Man, rush hour at a major city wouldn't be this bad!!

Yeah, the grass is always greener....

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Ya'll Hear Me Now??

Well, we've been back in Ohio from our KY trip for over a week now. Life is starting to get back to normal. And I'm finally starting to talk "right" again.

See, they have a different kind of language in Kentucky. When we spend time down there it kind of rubs off on me. Then when we get back home I catch myself saying things like, "We aim ta have supper here directly. Ya'll wanna stay and et with us?"

And Buckeyes look at me like I'm insane.

Snooty things.

Now - my family knows I love them. And I love the way they talk. For instance, my Granny can look at me and say "Becky, get them there scraps by the zinc and take 'em out to the 'backer field", and I know just exactly what to do. I mean, how much clearer could she be?

I finally got straight what I need to bring her when she asks for "sweet milk". And when she wants something to "piece on" from the store, I'm right on the task. Our family knows that a good "mango" is great on a salad, and we discovered we really like it in nachos this last time around.

I noticed my Granny never changes her sheets.....she "strips" the bed instead. My uncle says it's sexier that way. I don't think I want to continue that conversation.

They're always "fixin'" to do something, or sometimes you can catch them carryin' things around in a "poke". Or they might be yellin' at the kids to get out of the "crick", or cookin' up a "mess" of beans for supper. And then sometimes you may just find 'em sitting for a spell, 'cause more than likely they're just plumb tuckered out.

I know how they feel. Sometimes I ain't got nairy a mind to piddle around either.

So, just for the official record, I wanna say' I'm right proud of my southern heritage. And I ain't gonna fret about whether no cotton' pickin' Buckeyes can understand us or not. We all understand each other pert near perfectly.

Leastways, most of the time we do.

And I reckon that's good enough for us!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Unexpected Pleasures

Ever have one of those moments in life when something little and actually of no significant value whatsoever happens to you and it just makes you smile and feel kind of happy? I had one of "those moments" today....in Dollar General of all places.

Stopped in at lunch because I needed some kind of wipes to clean off the dashboard of my car, which was dusty enough that I could have written this blog on it. Although it would have been very hard for anyone else to read it that way. So I decided to just stick to the laptop and clean the dash instead.

So I wander around a bit because I forgot what I went in there for about as soon as I walked in (that is so frustrating!) but then finally see the cleaning supplies which jogs my memory as to what I want. I grab my wipes and head back up to the front. As I'm heading that way, I'm thinking "Hmmm, wonder if they've got Pringles in here." Then, as if the angels heard my heart's plea, I look to the right and realize that I'm walking right past a display of Pringles! Hallelujah!

But wait...it gets better. The price so proudly displaying in front of the chips is 5 for $3. 5 for $3??!! Holy Toledo, that's like $.60 a tube! Pringles are NEVER that cheap! Hey, I'm no idiot...so I scoop up 5 tubes and head for the checkout, happy as a little clam.

So I get up to pay for my stuff and the checker-outer lady starts swiping the Pringle tubes. $1.50....$1.50....$1.50....$1.50.....$1.50. OK, the discount must be applied at the end. Except it's not. No ma'am...the bill is $10.58.

Well, this is not good.

So, I tell the lady that the price listed is 5 for $3. She looks at me like I've got a toe growing out of my ear. I said "Really - (pointing) - see the sign?" She looks at the sign, gives me a very odd grin, and says "Excuse me...I'll be right back." And she leaves. **groan** So, I think "Well, at least there's no one in line behind me." And immediately 2 people show up in line behind me. Honestly, what are the odds?? So we wait for about 4 minutes for this woman to come back. Really, the store is not that big. I don't know where in the world she went. But soon she comes back with another lady who apparently is a manager. The first thing they do is walk by the display and promptly turn the 5 for $3 signs around so that they say $1.50. Hmmm...somebody's probably gonna get whacked for that one!

So I figure it's gonna be a fight to get the 5 for $3 price that I was so pumped about. But, to my surprise, the manager lady just goes to the cash register and starts overriding the $1.50 price already logged in. This proved to be quite a chore though, because she would start with the price at the top of the list. Then when she overrode on, it would drop the cursor down to the bottom, and she'd have to try and figure out which one she had left off with. It was very difficult to watch, because actually the screen would display $.60 in huge numbers when the price had been overridden. I don't know if she was blind or what, but she continually tried to change the ones that had already been changed, and that $.60 was on the screen blaring at me the whole time. I however did not utter a word, for fear that she may change her mind and take the precious $.90 per tube (do you realize that's a savings of $4.50?!?!) discount away. The people behind me probably had smoke coming out of their ears. Finally, just as I'm about ready to give it all up and scream "YOU'VE ALREADY CHANGED THEM ALL!" she finally realizes that she already changed them all, and they let me go.

Life is good.

Now perhaps you're thinking that I should be feeling guilty that I got away with a $.90 price break on my chips when that really wasn't the price. And actually, you're right...I do have one regret.

I should have gotten 10 tubes.