Sentimental Journey...For The Most Part

I'm beginning to realize that I am a sentimentally morbid person.

I'm still in the midst of all of this cleaning/packing fiasco, which is still pretty much a mess at this point. It would probably be better if I would just concentrate on one area at a time. But I must have ADHD or something, because I get bored in the same spot for an extended period, so I wander over to another part of the apartment and start ripping it apart too. I wish I could help it, but I really don't think I can.

So, last night I started into my hope chest. Wow, talk about a stroll down memory lane. Here is where you'd see my true personality at work. First, there's the sentimental side. I've got cards and letters from people from back when I was in elementary school. I found the card that came with the flowers my date to the senior prom sent me. I found my high school and college ID cards. (We'll just keep those hidden away, in the best interests of the public of course...) I found a note from one of my first piano students many years ago. (She thought I was the "best teacher ever." Of course, she was only like 9. I'm sure she's much smarter now than then.) I found a birthday card from my Granny Barndollar. I think it's the only thing I've got in her handwriting.

It was good to stop and think about her for a little while again.

Then it was on to the magazines. See, I'm a big fan of history. And the only thing I find more fascinating than history that happened a long time ago is history that is happening as we watch it. It just really intrigues me to see the world changing in front of my eyes. And that explains all the magazines. For years I always bought those "Year in Review" magazines. The whole year condensed into one magazine...how convenient! Remember the ADHD...give me the info in as quick and easy a format as possible...

Besides that, apparently the stuff that draws me the most lean toward the "morbid" side. Maybe that's because that's what makes news. Or maybe because those types of things make the most dramatic impact on society. Or maybe it's because it's just so hard to believe people engage in some of the activities that they do, or that their lives head down the course that it does.

Or maybe I am just morbid.

Timothy McVeigh, Columbine, Flight 800, Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky, Princess Diana, September 11, Ronald Reagan's passing...

I guess what it is is that all of these things brought out very strong feelings and reactions. Last night in the middle of my mess of living room many years after most of these had happened...I still felt some of those feelings. Things like that shape us...change us... I think that's why I look back to it sometimes. Not to dwell on the horrible past, but to remember. Remember how things used to be...and how it changed in a heartbeat.

So while I probably should part with some of these memories, I doubt I will. I'm just not to that point of reformation yet. Some things are just easier to change than others....