Techno Not So Much...

The ever evolving face of technology is amazing to me. I'm sitting here tonight watching the basketball play-offs in High Def. WOW...it's amazing. I mean, you can just about feel the sweat flinging off the players and smack you in the face as they run across the court. (Eww, that's kind of gross.) How far things have come since those gigantic black and white sets everybody used to own!

However, I have noticed that some technology is not so good, you know? Here's a perfect example. I went into Walmart the other day and had to visit the ladies room. So in the stall I go. Lord help me.......It's one of those that flush automatically when you stand up. I would like to formally go on the record and just say that whoever invented these things should be beaten over the head with a toilet plunger.

I am not kidding.

So, there's 4 stalls. Of course, I pick the one with a schizophrenia issue. You know...that one that if you move even 1/4 of an inch one way or another it thinks you're on your way out the door, so it dutifully kicks the megapower water spray into gear. Which of course soaks me to the bone. And then when I reach over to get some toilet paper to attempt to dry myself off, it just sets it off again. So I finally give up and finish my business then stand up and try to dry off as best as I can with toilet paper that you can actually see through if you hold it up to the light. I mean, good night...they sell 75 kinds of toilet paper in Walmart, and they can't give their customers any better than that??

Of course now, when I stand up all flushing action ceases immediately. And then I realize that everything I wanted to get rid of is still hanging around, so I start this insane little dance trying to set off the sensor. Well, you may wonder, why didn't I just push the little "fail-safe" button on the back of the stall? Well, I will answer, I did. Shockingly, I must say, it didn't work. So I have to just say a prayer that when I open the door and step out it will realize that I have left and do what it needs to do. Thank the Lord...it did. I guess we all need a little privacy at times, huh...

Well, that trial behind me, things are looking up. Until I get to the sink. You guessed it...one of those wave your hand underneath it to get the water to come out. These are worse than the toilets. At least in the stall nobody can see you dancing around like an idiot to get the stupid thing to work. I feel like I'm doing some type of Japanese Kyoto dance or something trying to find the one little spot that the sensor can see. FINALLY - the water spews forth! I rejoice as Moses must have when the water came forth from the rock in the wilderness! (But I'll bet he didn't have as much trouble getting it as I did!) YOW - It's scalding!! Ridiculous!

Now the worst is still to come. The motion-sensored hand towel. Literally, for quite some time I would always walk around the stores with wet hand stains on my pants because I could not EVER get those things to work. Some days still, it's just not worth the effort.

So, while I applaud the wonders of modern technology, inventors should realize there are still some things that should remain sacred.

In other words...Stay Out of the Bathroom!