Fast Food Folly

It's a great American Institution. I don't know where the first one was founded, but it had to have come from the entrepreneurial spirit that has guided pioneers through this great nation for many years...the drive, the passion...the Appetite. Yes, I'm talking about the fabulous entity known as the Fast Food Joint. We took opportunity to visit one last night on our way home from church. After about 20 minutes in line for our "fast food" (yes, that is noted with sarcasm) we started reminiscing about some of our favorite fast food moments. Honestly, it's a wonder some of these places stay in business.

Last year we were in DC for vacation. Heading back to our house one night we decided to make a run for the border and visit The Bell. We were hungry. Very Hungry. We sat in line about, oh...20 minutes again and finally made it up to the little speakerbox. Heather was driving so she shouts in the first order - "I want a number one combo with a Mou..." That's all she got out when the voice in the little speakerbox blares out - "I'm sorry, we don't have any combo meals tonight."

WHAT?!?

That's exactly what Heather said. "WHAT?" "Yeah," retorts the little box, "we don't have any combo meals." So Heather asks the next logical question.."Can we order just a burrito and taco separately." "Sure" responds the little box. I think we've fallen into the twilight zone. What kind of nutso conversation is this?? So Heather says, "OooKKk....give me a burrito, taco and Mountain Dew." "Uhm...", the little box revs up again..."We don't have any ice either." Seriously...I mean, for the love of pete. So - we make a collective family decision to ditch the bell and head on down the road. Easier said than done. It's one of those drive-thrus where you're trapped in line until the idiots in front of you who apparently ordered $457 worth of individual tacos (remember, no combo meals) get their order first. We were glad to think back "inside the bun" and chomp on nuggets from Wendys!

Up until that time the stupidest comment I ever heard at a FFJ came from the King's palace itself...Burger King. It's crucial you remember the name of this place. Burger King. Heather and I walk up the counter and get ready to give our order when the guy waiting on us says.."Before you order, you might want to know...we don't have any meat tonight." And then he just stands there like that was the most natural thing in the world to have told us. Heather and I look at each other rather quizzically, and finally I say to him "no meat?" And He calmly responds "no meat." I said "uhm...isn't this (everyone say it with me) Burger King?" He said "Yeah...kind of ironic, isn't it?" So I say.."OK, that's weird. But, we really just wanted onion rings anyway." To which he replies "Oh, I should have told you...we're out of onion rings too." Why of course...we absolutely should have seen that one coming. So, we end up just ordering drinks and dreaming about eating actual food.

I guess we should have been grateful that at least they had ice...

Procrastination....

Today is April 6th. I have 2 things to say about that. First, I think it's utterly ridiculous that I just drove home in a hail storm blizzard. I'm not kidding, I almost had to stop once because I couldn't even see the road. And I still have little snow ice balls falling out of my hair where I got covered up trying to get into the apartment. Cursed Ohio weather!!

The second thing I have to say about that is...I have to do my taxes.

I don't know why I procrastinate doing my taxes. I do it nearly every year. It's not that I have to pay...I actually get a refund. And it's not that it's difficult...I can do my own on one of those computer tax program things. I just put it off. Then here I am, 9 days before the deadline blogging about having to do my taxes. Perhaps it's because I just spend all day doing paperwork and can't stand the thoughts of doing anything else like that again when I get home. Or perhaps I feel that I'm spreading out a monetary windfall by delaying the reception of my money.

But, more than likely, it's just because I'm a procrastinator.

Actually, I sell myself a little short. I have always had procrastinatory (leave it alone, it's a new word I just made up!) tendencies. But I have gotten better over the last little bit. I find when you're not so run down that you really don't care if you even lay down in the middle of a highway to take a nap, you can get a lot more done in life. And I have been feeling some better. So I have been getting a bit more done lately. And it feels good to get it done. But there are still those moments. And for some reason, they usually involve my taxes. And laundry. But that's another story... :)

So...I guess I better get to moving before Uncle Sam comes tracking me down.

Of course, by now it's nearly 11:00 and I'm extremely tired.

So....Maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow. There's still plenty of time....

Another Week Down...

Having a little "blog block" tonight...can't really settle on anything in particular to write about. Got a wild week ahead...have to go play for 2 singing groups Monday and Tuesday at a revival in Mansfield, our church Wednesday, Thursday Mom, Heather and I are going to see "To Kill A Mockingbird" (can't wait!), not sure about Friday but may go to a concert, Saturday is Shelby's Track Invitational (may go down a while) and our church Easter Egg hunt, then Sunday is Sunrise Service, Breakfast, Sunday School, Church, dinner, then Church again.

WHEW!! I'm tired just talking about it!

We do get to reunite with our little bubby (he loves it when I call him that!) Adam Friday as he is home for Easter. Then it will just be 3 more weeks and he will be done with his first year of college! That is unbelievable to me!! It seems like just yesterday he was about 4 years old running around the house driving us all crazy and making us laugh all at the same time. Man...time moves too fast...

Well, I know it wasn't very exciting tonight, but thus ends another blog. Tomorrow is another day....

Lazy Day

I was a slug today.

I didn't mean to be...the day started out really good actually. Got up about 8:30 and took a bath, started straightening up the apt. Was feeling good until about 11:00. Then I felt it starting...

The Crash.

I just do that sometimes. It's like my body says "I've gone as hard as I can go for as long as I can, so I'm stopping now. You do what you want, but I am not going with you." I really have no control at that point. It hadn't been as bad since the doctor put me on the blood pressure meds, but apparently even that has its limitations. And this weather (which is freezing up here right now) is sending my sinuses into fits. Thank God for Sinex...

So I slept like...a lot today. I attempted to get in some physical activity by pulling up one of our on-demand channels and watching an exercise show. Watching. From the couch. I mean, I couldn't even make myself sit up. How sad is that when you're just laying on the couch watching other people exercise. I'm sure I burned many calories like that!

So...since I slept all day, I will probably not sleep well tonight, and the whole sleep/function cycle is all messed up. But then again, maybe I won't have as much trouble as I think. This blogging thing tonight is wearing me out.

I think maybe I need just a short nap...

Fun at WallyWorld

Tonight Mom and I went on our weekly Friday night outing to Mansfield for eating and shopping. Heather usually goes with us, but she wimped out and stayed home tonight, no doubt laying on the couch watching NCIS and gorging on frozen seedless grapes. So Moomaw and I set out for the Sam Walton Tour of Sam's Club and Walmart. And I tell you, if you can survive a night of traipsing through both of those stores, you are made of stout stuff!

We first prepare ourselves with a hearty Quizno's sub. (Ah...Turkey, Bacon & Guacamole...you are heaven sent...) Then off to the ultimate warehouse extraordinaire! I mean, who can pass up a 500 count bottle of daily vitamins, or a 12 pound box of Fiber One bars?? (Do you have any idea what that many Fiber One bars could do to your digestive system??!) Mom eyes the flat screen TV's...she has been bitten by the bug, I think! (Hezzo and Adam got one for Christmas, and I got one in the great machine mutiny of previous days, as detailed in a former blog...) However, she resists. (A strong woman, she is!) We leave there with considerably less money than when we walked through the doors.

Next, on to the abysmal pit that is Walmart. It is a masochist's dream, really. I find it truly amazing that you can pass 37 aisles with no one in them, but as you reach the one with the item you absolutely have to have you suddenly are thronged by 68 people, all with carts and all just standing and staring at the selection in front of them. Well, all except for the 15 who are standing there talking to someone else and blocking any possible hole that there may be to get through the aisle. It takes a great deal of strategic planning to navigate such an obstacle course. Trust me, it is not for the faint of heart!

Now, between Sam & Wally's we have walked about 36 miles tonight. And we're only halfway through Wally's. We are weary...we are tired....we seek but just a spot of rest. But we continue on, bravely facing each ensuing enemy with fortitude of heart. There's the screaming child, who's shrill little voice has the ability to shatter even the healthiest of eardrums...the go-cart-shopping-cart-driver who does not know how to drive the go-cart-shopping-cart, therefore keeping you jumping at every turn in fear of being run over by the wanna-be Mario Andretti...the gang of LOUD people who seem to follow you wherever you go, even when you zig-zag your normal shopping patterns in an attempt to lose them. **Sigh**

Finally we make it to the front of the store. This is known as the land of "wait in line forever". (OK, I'll give them this, tonight they did pretty good. But it's usually not that way!) After handing over whatever money you may have left after Sam's dug into your pocketbook, you are finally free!! Well, that is, if you can make it past those giant security thingies that start screaming if you have anything in a bag that has the least little bit of label showing on it. After being searched and interrogated, you are released. As the doors open miraculously in front of you, you are filled with glee...Home, here we come!!!

If only we could remember where we parked the car....

Things I've Learned

Mr. Dave Barry (who is a hilarious columnist and author, in case you don't know who he is) wrote an article several years ago entitled "25 Things I Learned in 50 Years". It is awesome...you should Google it if you've never seen it. It's full of little "wit"-isms of life's truths, such as "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.", and "When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy." Obviously, this guy has been paying attention in life!

I think when you get right down to it, we all have our own "lessons learned" list that we have acquired through life. Here's a few of my own...

1. Never walk through a pouring rainstorm with your purse unzipped.
2. If you have really enjoyed the restaurant's meal, you're probably better off not knowing what the kitchen or the chef looks like.
3. Household electronics secretly know how to talk to one another, and can coordinate slow deaths in order to break their owners financially and mentally. (see previous blog entry)
4. The best way to have a spontaneous, unexpected day is to plan it to the most minute detail.
5. When a doctor says "this will just cause a mild discomfort", don't believe them.
6. No matter how long you ignore that weird screeching noise coming from your car...it will not get better on its own.
7. If you suddenly smell a horrific odor eminating from the group of three year olds you teach in Sunday School, find the one that refuses to sit down. Then take them to their parents. Immediately.
8. Whoever came up with the term "Reality Television" apparently has never lived in the Real World.
9. Don't take offence when a six year old asks you if you used to be skinny. They just call it like they see it.
10. Intelligence is not always a way to measure how smart someone is. Nor is lack of formal education a way to measure how dumb someone is.
11. Life is too short to worry and fret over things that don't really matter.
12. Life is too long to worry and fret over things that don't really matter.
13. Never pass up the chance to make one of your co-workers look really good.
14. When someone you love is driving you crazy, just envision the day that they are no longer there....then enjoy your time together.

Until we meet again....

The Blogging Bunch (sing along, everyone!)

It's a story
Of a chick named Shelley
Who started up her very own blog space
Then she told her fam in Shelby all about it
Said "check out my new place!"

So the family
Up in Ohio
Decided to all join in on the fun
So they started Drama, Memories, Lollygagging
Yes, started one by one!

So now all the Aunts and cousins blog together
And enjoy it even more than eating lunch!
Now they tell their daily tales through mini-stories
This is the way they all became The Blogging Bunch!

The Blogging Bunch!
The Blogging Bunch!
It's the waaay...they became the Blogging Bunch!!!

This composition is dedicated to my loving cuzin Shelley, who started us all down the blogging road.

And to Mom, because I can't believe she actually is blogging on her own!

And to Hezzo, because I know her favorite secret show is REALLY The Brady Bunch!!!!

:)