Perspective

Well, a lot of you probably know the story by now, but here it is for posterity's sake anyway...

It was Saturday, March 20, 2010. I had stopped at mom's for a bit. She and Adam were cleaning the van, and Adam's dog Daisy was tied to a cast-iron sun dial in the back yard. The neighbor came over to visit and Daisy, being the energetic-people-loving puppy she was, took off to welcome her. I guess we didn't realize she'd be strong enough to pull the sun dial over, but pull she did. And since it was round on both ends, suddenly there's a cast-iron steamroller flying across the drive, headed for my car (or worse, the neighbor's legs!)

Instinct told me to try and stop it. Impulse made me act on instinct. So I ran. Wish I could get that decision back. I think the dial hit an uneven spot in the drive...which was enough to bring it to a quick halt. Unfortunately, I kept moving, which resulted in my toppling head first over the dial and landing on the pavement, arms fully extended. The world changed to a slow-motion blur as I realized I suddenly had some big problems, and life had probably just changed forever.

So much happened next...I don't yet have the strength to type out all the details. The end result was this...the right arm was seriously dislocated. According to the ER doctor, it was the worst he'd seen in 13 years of practice. And the left arm had even bigger problems. A spiral fracture of the humorous, the bone from the shoulder to elbow. Imagine taking a paper towel tube and twisting it. Pretty much the same effect. Which is not a good thing to do to bone. It would need a plate that I'd get to carry around with me the rest of my life. Not to mention nerve damage in both arms. We're still waiting on feeling and function in sections of both hands. And to complete the prize package...a nice long stint of therapy. Wow...

That was about 6 weeks ago. The doctor said it would take 10-12 weeks for the left arm to heal, so we're about halfway there. The right arm was doing very well after they reset it...until the bone shifted out of place again. After another surgery and 3 weeks of it being casted at a locked 90 degree position, we're finally ready to rehab it. We're on to the task of figuring out how life works again...

I won't lie here and say this hasn't been difficult. I've sure had some tears. And have definitely had fears. Lots of fears. The things I love doing most...piano, photography, blogging...surely I couldn't have just lost all of them. Emotions have been the cliche roller-coaster, for sure.

So I guess I was a little surprised the other day when suddenly I knew very clearly and very strongly just how I really feel about all of this. I was talking to someone who had just found out about it. They looked at me with a horrified expression and said "Oh, I feel so sorry for you. I can't believe you have to face this!"

And you know what I realized? I am so fortunate and so blessed.

I severely dislocated my right elbow. The doctor told us he didn't know why the bone didn't just shatter instead. Blessed.

The surgery on my left arm was extremely difficult. There were no complications. Blessed.

The radial nerve in my left arm was traumatized, so I cannot lift my wrist or extend my fingers on their own. The doctor said it was hemorrhaged, but not cut. If it had of been cut, I would never recover from that problem. Blessed.

I had no damage to my shoulders, spine, neck or head. Blessed.

Even though I may lose some extension in my arms, I will still have fully functional range of use with them.

BLESSED.

I've had so many cards, gifts, well-wishes, prayers and words of encouragement from friends and family. Blessed.

I've got the best Mom in the world to take me home with her and help me day in and day out make it through this ordeal. And siblings to help as well. So very Blessed.

I've got a great big God who has the whole situation in His hands, which means it will be OK no matter what the final outcome is.

Blessed more than I deserve.

So, as I told my friend the other day, please don't feel sorry for me. As bad as this was...I shudder to think of what it could have been. I'm not paralyzed. I'm not an amputee. I'm not even crippled really.

I'm just Blessed.